At 58, what seems true for me is that life is about relationships and growth. How I relate to myself - will affect how I relate to you. How you relate to yourself - will affect how you relate to me. Learning to relate in positive, constructive ways, brings growth and meaning to life.
When I relate to myself by judging my actions without compassion, it serves no purpose because it becomes a destructive loop of negativity and disconnection. When I judge you and your actions without compassion, the same thing occurs. And when you judge me that way, the pattern is repeated.
I am discouraged with some of the relationships I see and I am disheartened with what is happening in our nation and around the world. Judgments seem rampant and compassion appears to be desperately lacking. Too many people are judging each other instead of caring for each other. Here in the United States, Pundits and entertainment news are tearing “We the people” apart. Internationally, religious fanatics are killing people. With politics, we get lies from every side. With religion, no one on the planet has proof of what exist beyond our world. We can argue our differences, politics and religion until the sun burns out. Or we can accept that we will disagree about some things. Interestingly, love and compassion are not things anyone argues or debates. No one doubts the power of these or believes they are wrong. So, why don’t we live them more? Because, at times, it’s hard to love or feel compassionate. Why? Because to come from a loving compassionate place takes humility – the ability to admit when we are wrong.
One thing I know I can always do, even if I don’t feel loving or compassionate, I can try to understand; I do that by being curious. When I open my mind up to questions, I learn things. I can learn not only about politics and religion, but about myself, others and the world. By being curious, I open my mind, which brings me new awareness. Usually, I am humbled by what I learn and this opens my heart.
Whatever your view is, if I want to understand it and connect with you, I have to be willing to see what’s on your side of the fence, your side of town, your side of the world; only then can I become aware of how you feel, what you think and why you believe the way you do.
Someone - very wise once told me, "It takes two people willing to be open, to listen, and to try to understand." I can open up, but I can’t make you, only you can do that.
Daily, I work on being more open and shifting my perception from my small view, to a wider one. My hope is that we’ll all be willing to make an effort to do the same. Because only when we come from a place of humility and are willing to try to understand each other, will we be able to connect in that magical space of love and compassion. That is where we as individuals can grow and be healed. Then possibly, our nation and planet can persevere and be healed too.